We are going to embark on a journey that will bear many gifts. If you are willing to take the ride; buckle up and open your mind.
Though the questions are few, they are designed for you to do some really deep soul –searching and boldly go where no one has gone before. You are about to enter your own rabbit hole.How much freedom you desire would determine how deep you are prepared to go into that hole.
At the end of this Series (if you work it), you will be able to live more freely, having acceptance and understanding that you have the power to move forward in your life. Understanding what you cannot change. And do the work that only you can do so you can accept that you can’t continue to try to manage that situation or this person or that thing.
You will be able to “live your truth” and stop lying to yourself about yourself. Those lies feed into lies you tell other people, leaving you feeling isolated and craving connection. You will be able to “tell your truth” and embrace yourself and make peace with what the disease has left of you.
You will learn how to remain grateful, how to be of service to others, how to laugh at yourself, how to live in the moment, how to practice restraint of tongue and pen, how to learn to forgive, how to remain teachable, and how to be courageous in your own life.
Most of all you will learn that everything you came here looking for, you came here looking with……..
If we are to truly recover from the disease of addiction, we must grow up – emotionally.
True recovery is the product of humility that emerges from living and practicing a conscious and spiritual life. In order to attain humility, we must be honest with ourselves. This includes looking at the stupid things we do, today, in our recovery. The term stupid is used to indicate the things that we do that are self-destructive and not in our best interest.
There are innumerous ways we practice self-destructive behavior. However, in this Series we are going to consider the most commonly confronted and critical issues.
The more we become aware of the underlying cause of a particular belief or behavior, the less it controls our life: awareness of what we are doing to ourselves – awareness of how we sabotage ourselves – starts with the process of change.
We no longer have the luxury of saying, “this is who I am” as that is one of the BIGGEST LIES you tell yourself about yourself.
Few of us will relate to all of these issues, but the general themes should be familiar. Here are the top 12 Stupid Things that we will be examining during this series:
1.Believing addiction to one substance is the only problem.
2.Believing staying clean will fix everything.
3.Pursuing recovery with less energy that pursuing addiction.
4.Being selectively honest.
5.Feeling special and unique.
6.Not making amends
7.Using the program to try to become perfect.
8.Confusing self-concern with selfishness.
9.Playing futile self-improvement games.
10.Not getting help for relationship troubles.
11.Believing that life should be easy.
12.Using the program to handle everything.
The author indicated that this was of critical importance to early recovery (defined as the first two years). However, we are all “new” in recovery in some area of our lives, if we are able to be honest about it.
The main issues that we confront during this time include breaking the bonds of addiction, establishing a spiritual foundation, learning effective tools to deal with ourselves and our relationships, and dealing with the wreckage of our past.
The Just for Today says, “Especially in later recovery, entire inventories may focus on our relationships with others. Our lives have been filled with relationships with lovers, friends, parents, co-workers, children, and others whom we come in contact. A look at these associations can tell us much about our essential character”.
1.Name the areas in which you are “new” to in your recovery; regardless of your clean time. Elaborate; be specific as to what that looks like in your life. Practice self-honesty in your assessment.
Those who do best in recovery are those who are honest with themselves, open to new ideas and experiences and willing to take direction.
For those of us who are “new” to recovery, it may be staying clean. If this is the case; then the relationship that you are new to is the relationship with yourself.
For others it may be maintaining a certain type of healthy relationship for an extended period of time.This could a friendship, romantic relationship, work relationship, family relationship; such as a child or children, a parent or parents or a sibling).
If you have problems looking at this area, you can read the JFT March 14th and the Section in “Living Clean the Journey Continues”.
For some of us it may be trust (being untrustworthy yourself or afraid to trust others), it may infidelity, prostitution in recovery, gambling, pornography or some other manifestation of the disease.
2.How do these areas affect your spiritual foundation?
Look at what would cause you to thing in this particular way or behave in this particular manner.
3.What effective tools can you use to deal with yourself and your relationships that there is tension or a lack of peace?
4.What effective tools can you use to deal with that hidden manifestation of your disease (that area of quiet desperation)?